February 13, 2013
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The Disney Star Wars Nightmare Memo

Everyone’s been guessing what will happen to Star Wars now that the movie/tv/broadway/themepark/cruise ship giant has purchased Lucasfilm.   Thanks to an unnamed friend of a friend who works at a famous movie studio we have this ‘leaked’ this internal Disney memo.  A list of ten “proposed concepts to exploit” Star Wars that they considered but are NOT going to do.

Looks like we dodged several bullets on this.  Though I could almost be okay with #7

– Team Humerus

 

Disney Star Wars Rejected Ideas List

Transcript:

INTERNAL ONLY
After Review of the proposed concepts to exploit the recently acquired Lucasfilm/Star Wars Franchise, the following concepts are no longer in consideration.  Please notify involved department heads, licensing and consumer products to cease development on these concepts.   A Greenlight list will be forthcoming.

10) “Jedi Academy” Jedi Master Skywalker leads a new group of would-be Jedi with Padawan Mahoney, Jones, Sweetchuck, Tackleberry and Hightower (EPISODE VII)

9) “It’s A Small Galaxy After All” – Reskin It’s a Small world with aliens from the Star wars universe, and of course record a new song “Space is full of Jedi and full of Sith…” (THEME PARK)

8) “My Ewok Life”  –  A teen Ewok deals with the pressures of coming of age on Endor.  (DISNEY CHANNEL)

7) “Jar Jar Binks Must Die” – A young would-be bounty hunter named Boba Fett goes slowly mad in a universe filled with clones of his father.  He seeks vengance for all his troubles and targets a Gungan Senator named “Binks”. (FEATURE)

6) Untitled Yoda stand-alone film.  A buddy comedy with Yoda (Frank “Fozzie Bear” Oz) and Padawan Mace Windu (Chris Tucker)  as young Jedi who ditch training for a weekend to party on gambling planet Giju  – “Happens in Giju, stays in Giju it does.  Wakka Wakka.”  (FEATURE)

5) Grown up Miley Cyrus is a major pop star on Coruscant who has to room with her reptilian band mates.  It’s called “Who’s the Bossk?” (DISNEY CHANNEL)

4) “That’s so Lando!” a very special series about growing up as the only black kid in a universe of rubber puppets and white folk.   (DISNEY CHANNEL)

3)   “It’s a TRAP!”  ABC Daytime presents a brand new game show hosted by everyone’s favorite Mon Calamari, Gial Ackbar! (DISNEY XD)

2)    Jedi Princesses  Could be a huge merchandising phenomenon –  the top three are, of course, Leia Organa Solo, Mara Jade and Asajj Ventress.  All with pink lightsabers!  (DCP)

1)   Jedi Council Babies (DISNEY BABY)

It's A Trap! Game Show

 

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